


More Than This

by Swagenthusiast



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: 707 | Choi Luciel's Real Name, Friends to Lovers, I'll add more tags as I update :), Kim Yoosung-centric, Kinda, M/M, Mental Health Issues, POV First Person, Self-Indulgent, Slow Burn, So def spoiler warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:35:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29674320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swagenthusiast/pseuds/Swagenthusiast
Summary: Yoosung was struggling more than he ever has months after the ordeal with Mint Eye, and he’s never felt so lost. He looks for comfort within his friends, but in return ends up having to face his true feelings that he never thought would be brought to light.
Relationships: 707 | Choi Luciel/Kim Yoosung
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	More Than This

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place months after Seven's route (except there is no MC.) Please tell me if I got any information wrong because it's been a while. Also this fic will talk about the character's mental health some because they deserve help, I don't want to give the impression that a relationship can solve everything. :)

I felt so incredibly stupid. Stupid for feeling shitty, and stupid for not being able to do anything about it. It’s been far too long since the incident with Rika for me to be still hung up on it, and the thought makes me feel almost guilty…or like I’m being too dramatic. I buried my head deeper in my pillow and sighed, feeling the warm breath touch my skin. My stinging headache only amplified how miserable I was.

It was strange, actually. It wasn't even about her really. I didn’t dwell too strongly on the damage she’s caused anymore, but I was still anguished. It's been like that almost every single waking hour after the news broke about her actions. I can’t even remember the last time I attended a class, or alternatively, a RFA chatroom. 

The realization only intensified the swirling guilt that was accompanying my stomach. I rolled onto my back, dragging my hands down my face in exhaustion. I tried to block out the remorse I was feeling, but I should’ve known by now that it never works that way. After a few prolonged minutes of feeling bad for myself and careful consideration, I reached over to grab my flip phone that was resting on the dresser to the side of my bed. I tried to adjust myself to a sitting position, taking deep breaths while resting my head against my bed frame. 

I dialed the number that I’ve been fretting to call since I got into this rut of mine. To my surprise, he picked up impressively fast.

“Umm...Hey,” I said, using my free-hand to fidget with the hem of my sweatshirt. It made me feel even more agitated that I was so anxious talking to someone I considered my best friend just because of a short-term absence.

“Yoosung! Oh my god, why haven’t you been in the chatrooms? Or answered my calls? You made me almost have a heart attack,” Saeyoung joked, but the concern in his voice was evident. 

“Oh…Yeah. I’m actually sorry about that. I guess...um. I’ve just been really caught up with stuff. I didn’t mean to worry you or anything,” I explained with a slight tremor in my voice. All I could do was impatiently bounce my leg in hope that he isn’t too bothered by my insufficient explanation. 

“Hey babe? You okay?” There was a brief pause. I couldn’t tell if he planned on continuing, or wanted me to answer. He proceeded, “I know it’s been pretty rough for you, yeah? You don’t need to tell me everything, but you’re allowed to tell me what’s bothering you.” My insides started to twist, and I got the sensation in my gut that warned me when the tears were about to emerge. I held in my breath, hoping he wouldn’t notice. 

“I um…I really don’t know,” I took another shaky breath to try and keep my composure. “I just...after everything happened it took a little bit of a toll on me. I..um… I know it was a while ago, so this might be stupid, but things have just been difficult.” When I started stumbling on my words I automatically knew that he could sense my struggle to stay collected. Thankfully, he didn’t mention it. He only hummed, a gesture to let me know he was listening. 

So I continued. “Yeah and…everyday is like…so repetitive. I haven’t really been doing anything and I don’t really know what to do….or like, how to stop it? I don’t know. I’m sorry for putting all of this on you so suddenly.” After my abrupt rant, I noticed a light-hearted giggle at the other end of the phone.

“Well I asked you to, didn’t I?” Saeyoung teased.

“I guess you did,” I managed a minor laugh even though the tears trailing down my face were restricting my voice. There was another short-lived silence before I could hear shuffling from the other end of the phone. In the meantime, I wiped the remaining tears off my face with the tattered sleeve of my hoodie and heard a gentle sigh after he supposedly got settled. 

“Look, Sungie… you know how shitty I am at comforting people and everything, yeah? But I don’t think what your feeling is stupid at all. And I don’t want you to get mad at me when I say this, but…” he took a few seconds before persisting. “Have you ever like… considered therapy?” I tensed up a bit in reflex, but I couldn’t help the chuckle that departed from my lips. The idea whirled through my mind, but no matter how thoroughly I delved into the thought, it seemed so far from reality.

“Saeyoung… I really don’t think that would help, I mean... “ I absentmindedly tapped my finger against my leg in thought. “I don’t think I have it bad enough… I’m probably just being dramatic, you know?” I’m not sure why, but having to say that out loud only drove the tears that I was urging to keep in my system to make their way down my already stained face. I could sense yet another silence from the other end of the phone, except now I was forced to listen to the hushed sniffles and whimpers that I tried so desperately to contain.

“Hey, Yoosung.” Saeyoung’s voice shocked me for an instant, before I gathered myself to respond

“Y-Yeah?” 

“I will literally castrate you if you say some dumb shit like that ever again.”

“.... Noted.”

We talked a bit more after that, but the topics weren’t nearly as sensitive. He told me about how he was still job-hunting and how Saeran actually goes outside with him to get ice cream sometimes, which was actually tremendous progress. I talked about how much I despised my professors on the rare days I actually went to school, and how my mom kept nagging me about my life even when I was fully grown. I felt partially normal again. Less hopeless than usual, which was pretty cool.

But as much as I tried to indulge myself in the comforting sound of his voice, and the reassurance that there’s someone, who as a matter of fact, cares for me... things unfortunately don’t last forever. One of those things being my phone call with Saeyoung. When the call ended, I released a faint sigh, and delighted in my newly-found motivation to push my feet to the floor to finally slip away from the luxury of my bed. The satisfaction did not last for long, drifting my eyes to examine the state of my now disarranged room. Various articles of clothing were strewn across the floor, framed pictures were knocked from their surfaces, empty bowls were piled in a corner of the room, and instant noodle cups were littered across the dresser and desk.

A feeling of deep anguish flooded my senses and I couldn’t help but wonder how I let this happen. A feeling that made me almost regret the person I’ve become. While the clutter in my apartment was now achingly apparent, the distinct grumbling of my stomach is also something that would be difficult to ignore at the moment. It’s probably been about a decade since I had my last meal and it astounded me that I didn’t notice sooner. I had to step over various items scattered on my floor that I didn’t even remember putting there in order to get to my fridge, which made me come to the conclusion that when I fall into these relentless depressions everything else around me ceases to exist. 

The thought gnawed at me, and I knew I had to do something to distract myself. I decided to swing open my refrigerator door, expecting something at least edible. Unfortunately, that wasn’t exactly the case. The refrigerator was completely empty, with the exception of a few slices of cheese and two miniscule cartons of chocolate milk that I felt were mocking me. I determined a grocery store trip was much needed. But, I couldn’t even imagine showing my face to the public seeing how grimy I felt.

After a long awaited shower I stood in front of my baby blue mirror crowded with old stickers, scrutinizing my appearance in nothing but a towel. I moisturized my face, something that I haven’t done in months, and find myself staring idly at my reflection once again. Thankfully, the ding from my phone distracted me from my thoughts before I could delve too deep into my mind. I quickly picked it up to check the notification. 

-[new chatroom] 

At first, I felt as if my heart almost skipped a beat. It took me a bit more than a few seconds just to evaluate my choices before deciding to risk it. I would be lying to say I didn’t have a fleeting hope I wouldn’t get chastised too much for all the time I was away.

Yoosung★ entered the chatroom

[ZEN] Yoosung!!!

[ZEN] You good man? 

[ZEN] It’s been a while

[ZEN] I may or may have not been a bit worried ^^

707 entered the chatroom

[707] Hello my Sungie~ ♥

[707] Btw, Zen is lying

[707] He was totally freaking out lololol

[ZEN] Yeah, yeah

[ZEN] Whatever.

[ZEN] Anyways, are you taking care of yourself? 

[ZEN] Have you eaten anything recently??

[Yoosung★] I was kind of having a hard time but I’m okay now :)

[Yoosung★] I need to get some food though hehe

[ZEN] That’s good to know.

[ZEN] You can always talk to me you know?

[707] Zen’s being a mom lolololol

[ZEN] Agghhh…

[ZEN] I don’t want to hear it.

[707] Lololol

[ZEN] Oh!

[ZEN] By the way Yoosung

[ZEN] I was just about to head to the grocery store, actually. 

[ZEN] If you want to get food right now we can meet up there?

[ZEN] You haven’t asked to hang out with me lately. T-T 

[ZEN] So I’m a bit offended.

[Yoosung★] Sorry lolll

[Yoosung★] But you have to promise me when we meet up you won’t scold me anymore ^^ 

[ZEN] Well, I can’t promise that lmao.

[707] Hey!

[707] No fair!!!

[707] I want to meet up with my Yoosungie~

[Yoosung★] Really?

[707] Well yes…

[707] But not today lololol

[707] I have to take Saeran to an appointment <3

[Yoosung★] Maybe some other time then lol

[707] Yah

[707] Any

[707] Ways

[707] Take care of urself my dear Yoosung!

[707] The light of my life!!!

[707] But I must go

[707] to live my own way !! 

[ZEN] I wish you could sense how done I am with you, Saeyoung. 

[707] No worries!

[707] I can sense it quite well already <3

[707] Farewell Zen!!

[707] And my cutie Yoosungie~

707 left the chatroom

[ZEN] Ugh…

[ZEN] Well, see you there I guess? Haha

[ZEN] Bye Yoosung

ZEN left the chatroom. 

I too closed out of the chatroom, discarding my phone to the bathroom counter. I checked my face yet again, and tried not to think about how my cheeks were growing red from Saeyoung’s words.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to try to actually power through with writing this loll, I have a lot of ideas. <3


End file.
